The Adult Drama Dilemma

As a school principal, you’ve likely encountered your fair share of adult drama. In a recent meeting, members of the NAESP Principals of Color Network highlighted drama as a recurring problem for school leaders.

Addressing and correcting adult drama isn’t just about resolving conflicts, however; it’s about creating a positive school climate in which everyone can thrive. What if you could transform your school into a haven of collaboration and support?

Schools must create a safe and positive environment while addressing disruptive behavior, says Damon Qualls, conversations chair of the BOLD Leadership Network, which facilitates Principals of Color Network meetings.

The discussion yielded several practical strategies to address and prevent adult drama while creating a positive climate in which shared expectations and high standards are the norm.

Don’t Rescue—Empower

Remember when you learned to ride a bike? Your parents didn’t just hop on and ride for you. They guided, encouraged, and empowered you to find your balance. That’s what effective school leaders do through coaching.

After learning about the Karpman drama triangle framework’s three roles in dysfunctional interactions (victim, rescuer, and persecutor), leaders discussed how to move from “rescuing” to “coaching.” They outlined four actionable steps:

1. Develop coaching skills. Instead of providing ready-made solutions, guide educators through challenges to foster problem-solving abilities.
2. Facilitate, don’t dictate. When conflicts arise, help teachers navigate the resolution process themselves. While it might be tempting to step in with ready-made solutions, it’s more effective to guide teachers and staff through the process.
3. Practice self-awareness. Recognize your tendency to “rescue” and consciously shift to a coaching approach. Use your natural advantage as the school’s instructional leader to mitigate and resolve adult drama.
4. Build a strong foundation. Establish clear expectations and recognize generational differences to aid in creating a harmonious environment.

Vulnerability: A Trauma-Informed Superpower

In the quest for a drama-free school, vulnerability might seem counterintuitive. And yet, leaders who demonstrate vulnerability create a supportive environment for teachers, especially those experiencing trauma. It shows that we’re all human—that it’s sometimes OK to not be OK.

Fostering empathy and trust goes a long way toward creating a school environment that’s sensitive to the impact of trauma and in which conflicts can be addressed constructively. To implement a trauma-informed approach, start with these four strategies:

1. Create safe spaces. Designate areas where staff can decompress and
   share concerns.
2. Lead by example. Share your own experiences and challenges to normalize vulnerability. You don’t have to have all the answers.
3. Offer trauma-informed professional development. Educate staff on recognizing and addressing trauma in themselves and others.

4. Make one-on-one support available. Offer individual sessions for staff struggling with interpersonal issues.

Nurturing an Equity Mindset

Placing equity at the core of your school’s culture is crucial to address and prevent adult drama. It’s not just students who face challenges; educators also navigate a complex landscape of relationships, expectations, and potential conflicts. What if we could transform these challenges into opportunities for growth and positive change?

Here are three strategies to help build a strong foundation in equity:

1. Analyze data. Dig into your school’s historical context and current situation.
2. Form diversity committees. Create instructional diversity committees that serve as think tanks, identifying teacher leaders who can champion equity initiatives throughout the school.
3. Encourage authentic conversations. Create forums for open discussions about equity, even if they’re uncomfortable. “We’re learning to lean into the discomfort,” one principal said. “That’s where the real change happens.”

Resolving Conflict When It Arises

Addressing adult drama isn’t about putting out fires; it’s about creating an environment in which fires are less likely to start. Conflict is bound to arise from time to time, so when it does, go back to the basics with these conflict resolution techniques:

1. Use active listening. Ensure that all parties feel heard and understood.
2. Identify common ground. Find shared goals or values to build upon.
3. Build generational awareness. Recognize and address different work styles across generations.
4. Collaborate on problem-solving. Involve all parties in developing solutions.
5. Follow up. Check in after conflicts are resolved to ensure lasting change.

This journey takes time and patience. But with consistent effort and the right strategies, you can create a school culture that not only addresses drama but prevents it, allowing everyone to focus on what matters most: educating and inspiring students.

Edward Anderson is chair of the BOLD Leadership Network Affinity Space and executive director of OnTrack Greenville.