Master Your Circles of Control and Influence in School Leadership

In today’s complex and fast-paced education environment, school leaders are navigating an ever-growing array of responsibilities—from managing academic achievement and staff morale to responding to societal shifts and policy changes. While many external pressures can feel overwhelming, the most effective leaders maintain clarity by focusing on what they can control and influence. These principles, introduced by Stephen R. Covey in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, are powerful tools for school leaders seeking to lead with resilience, intention, and impact.

Understanding the 3 Circles: Control, Influence, and Concern

The model consists of three interconnected concepts:

1. The Circle of Control: This includes everything you have direct authority over—your thoughts, choices, behaviors, routines, and how you respond to challenges. For school leaders, this means controlling your reactions during conflict, managing your time effectively, leading with integrity, and setting a tone of calm and purpose.

2. The Circle of Influence: This circle represents areas where you might not have direct control but where your leadership, communication, and relationships allow you to make a positive impact. In a school setting, this includes staff morale and engagement, student culture and behavior, parent and community trust, and professional development priorities.

3. The Circle of Concern: Here lie the things that impact your school but are largely out of your hands—district mandates, political decisions, national education policy, pandemics, and societal issues. While these concerns are real, dwelling on them drains energy and effectiveness.

Great school leaders differentiate between these circles and intentionally prioritize the first two, thereby reducing stress and maximizing their leadership effectiveness.

The Mindset Shift: From Concern to Control

One of the most transformative habits a school leader can develop is the ability to pause, reflect, and intentionally reframe their focus. In the whirlwind of school operations—where emergencies, expectations, and emotions swirl—this pause is not a luxury; it’s a leadership necessity.

When faced with challenges, great leaders ask themselves three essential questions:

1. What part of this issue is within my control?

This question is grounding. It redirects attention from overwhelm to agency. As a school leader, the things you can control are often more powerful than you realize. You can:

• Set the tone for meetings and hallway interactions;
• Choose how you communicate—even under pressure;
• Decide how to spend your time and where to place your energy; and
• Lead by example through your actions, follow-through, and professionalism.

For example, you might not be able to control a sudden change in standardized testing requirements, but you can control how you present that information to staff, how you support teachers with resources, and how you help students manage the pressure.

2. What can I influence through relationships, dialogue, or action?

This question recognizes the subtle but significant power of influence. Influence isn’t about authority; it’s about trust, consistency, and connection. In schools, influence is built over time through how you listen, how you treat people, and how you show up.

Influence in action might look like:

• Shaping staff mindsets by inviting them into collaborative problem-solving;
• Encouraging growth by mentoring a new teacher or team lead;
• Improving student behavior through positive behavior interventions and consistent expectations; and
• Advocating for policy changes by building relationships with district leaders.

Even when you can’t directly make a decision, your thoughtful voice, professional reputation, and shared vision can help shift the conversation.

3. What do I need to release because it lies outside my influence?

This is the hardest, but perhaps most freeing, question. There are always elements in school leadership that are beyond your reach, like:

• Political dynamics at the state or national level;
• Economic inequities affecting your school community;
• Mandates handed down without consultation; and
• Family situations that impact a student’s well-being.

Recognizing what you must release doesn’t mean you stop caring; it means you stop carrying it alone. It means conserving your emotional energy for the things you can do. It’s the practice of realistic optimism: being fully engaged, but not personally burdened by what you can’t control.

Letting go of what you cannot change creates space—for clarity, for compassion, and for creativity.

Why This Mindset Shift Matters

The ripple effects of this mental shift are profound. First, leaders who focus on what they can control and influence often experience significantly less stress and burnout. Instead of wasting energy on circumstances beyond their reach, they channel their efforts into meaningful, actionable areas. This alignment preserves emotional energy and leads to increased impact—when leaders direct their focus toward what they can change, their effectiveness naturally grows.

This shift also fosters more strategic leadership. Rather than reacting impulsively to every challenge or concern, leaders who embrace this mindset are able to step back, reflect, and respond with intentionality and purpose.

Perhaps most important, modeling this approach contributes to a stronger school culture. As team members observe and adopt this mindset, blame and frustration are replaced with ownership, collaboration, and a shared commitment to solutions.

In essence, this mindset shift is not just about protecting your peace; it’s about maximizing your power.

A Daily Practice for School Leaders

Here’s how you can make this mindset shift a part of your daily leadership practice:

Morning Check-In:

Before your day begins, take five minutes to reflect. Ask yourself:

• What do I know will come up today?
• Which parts are mine to manage directly?
• Where might I need to influence others through leadership?
• What worries can I set down?

During a Challenge:

Pause and breathe. Ask yourself:

• What is actually happening?
• What part of this do I own?
• Who can I talk to? What action can I take?

End-of-Day Reflection:

Take stock of the day by asking yourself:

• Where did I make a difference?
• Where did I spend energy on things I couldn’t change?
• What can I release so I don’t carry it home?

These small moments of reflection can help you stay aligned with your purpose, protect your emotional bandwidth, and lead with clarity—even on the hardest days.

A Culture-Level Shift

When school leaders consistently model this mindset, it naturally cascades to others. Teachers begin to:

• Reframe student behavior as something they can influence through connection;
• See policy constraints as opportunities for creative solutions; and
• Focus less on frustration and more on what’s possible.

Staff meetings become less about complaints and more about collaboration. Teams stop getting stuck in the “this is out of our hands” loop and start asking “what can we do about it?” The result? A culture of proactive leadership. A staff that is empowered. A school that is resilient.

Practical Applications for School Leaders

Below are key strategies for applying the Circles of Control and Influence in the context of school leadership:

1. Prioritize Self-Leadership (Circle of Control)

Before leaders can guide others, they must lead themselves. This includes:

• Maintaining emotional regulation under pressure;
• Practicing time-blocking and intentional scheduling;
• Setting professional boundaries; and
• Seeking regular feedback for growth.

Your personal leadership habits create the foundation for how others perceive and trust your leadership.

2. Shape the School Culture (Circle of Influence)

Culture is rarely dictated—it’s cultivated. Through everyday actions, school leaders can influence:

• How people treat each other;
• What gets celebrated;
• How mistakes are addressed; and
• The tone of meetings and communication.

Every decision and interaction is an opportunity to reinforce the values of respect, collaboration, and high expectations.

3. Develop and Empower Staff (Circle of Influence)

Your staff’s growth and well-being are deeply impacted by your leadership. Focus on:

• Building systems of support and mentorship;
• Encouraging autonomy and innovation;
• Protecting planning time and reducing unnecessary meetings; and
• Being transparent about decision-making.

Teachers who feel seen, supported, and empowered are more likely to stay, grow, and lead within the school.

4. Build Community Trust (Circle of Influence)

While you can’t control every parent interaction, you can foster trust through consistent, honest communication. Consider:

• Hosting regular family forums;
• Sending positive updates home; and
• Responding to concerns with empathy and openness.

Trust builds influence—and influence leads to partnership.

5. Champion Student Voice and Belonging (Control + Influence)

Every leader plays a role in shaping a culture where students feel safe, valued, and heard. While you can’t control every student behavior or circumstance, you can:

• Create systems that encourage restorative practices;
• Prioritize SEL and trauma-informed teaching;
• Model inclusive leadership; and
• Celebrate diversity.

Small actions in these areas create a powerful ripple across your student body.

Leading with Intention in Uncertain Times

In the face of constant demands, school leaders who master their Circle of Control and Circle of Influence model the kind of grounded, intentional leadership that schools need most. They don’t waste energy on things they can’t change. Instead, they invest in people, relationships, growth, and culture.

This kind of leadership doesn’t just improve outcomes; it transforms schools into environments where students and staff thrive.

So take a breath. Refocus. And remember: The most powerful change starts with what’s already within your reach.

Sharon H. Porter is principal of Allenwood Elementary in Temple Hills, Maryland.